It’s all about the online presence…

Already the third week into January and the most I’ve accomplished with my blog writing is one post, oh plus this one. Really I should be using my new found I.T. skills as I underwent some intensive website training last week.

The training wasn’t for this l’il ol’ 40 gays 41 knights blog site, but my new business professional site that I had designed. That’s a website I had designed by someone else. Not that I designed.

I was lucky, just after New Years I finally had the content written, so called upon the lovely Jason Kruger to wip something up for me. So I could at least look good. Look professional. Like I mean it!

Having a website for your business is just the thing now, it’s impossible really without. But when it comes to do it, though you know what you need to say, and have thought about it no end, in the end… well, it’s such a rush! But you need to get something up – the words saying just the right thing, the pics looking inviting and accurate, and everything else looking, well, swish.

And you start thinking of adding the most stupid things, and have mental blocks when you are trying to sell yourself and what you can offer.

Kind of like online dating sites, being a one woman business!

The “Home” page – introducing yourself and how many years you’ve been in the business. Or in the case of your online dating profile, how many years’ old you are, how many years’ single, where your home is. And a call to action – Get in touch, now!

An “About Me” – My life history in professional terms. It’s a colourful CV mine. Hopefully one wouldn’t go to town on a dating site for stalkers sure do stalk these necks of the woods. A simple ‘likes long walks in the countryside, dancing (classes or clubs), yoga and learning Spanish” and Arriba! That’s me!

The “How can I help you?” section, or in the case of online dating biographies – How fab am I? Why should you pick me?

“Services” – a drop down box or one that expands to the many facets of your offerings. Ultra important on a business website but perhaps we’ll skip online services button when dating, unless we are on www.sugardaddy.com

Professional Me

Then you gotta upload your best photos, which might mean getting your hair done, nice dress on, rather than that selfie with a London bus in the background. Ok that’s possibly cute and appropriate for a dating site these days. Is it?

I don’t think selfies were invented when I was last on mysinglefriend.com but I do remember one guy just before our first date emailing me that he couldn’t stop looking at my photos. Mmm, that wasn’t awkward when we met.

 

“Contact Me… ” Well, in business – I’ll take all the calls I can get. And will answer every one! Online dating-wise.. perhaps this time I’ll give every poke or tweet or nudge a go this time. There’s no road map to love, and no map at least on my new site as to where I am based, being a remote office worker. Phew.

I’m not sure I’ve accurately portrayed online dating profiles as it’s been a couple of years now. A decent while since the Spanish guy I met online told me Date 3 he was ‘separated’. Then I found out a couple of dates later that he still lived with his wife.

Everyone tells you ‘At least if you meet online you know that they want to meet someone’… Well. Yes and no. Mas o menas…

But hey… Live, Life and Love! It’s about risk taking. No-one ever met the love of their life sitting at home in front of their computer. Oh hang on, yes they do frequently these days!

Fish

I know several girlfriends who had just about given up on love, gave online dating ‘one last go’ and now are married to the loves of their lives. True stories!

If anyone has any online dating success stories to share, I’d love to hear them! 

What do you think, is it time, (of course in conjunction with the faith I have in my 40 gays…) that I get back on the horse, to find my knight?

Or just go fishing?

 

 

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Dishes for me.. Save all the dishes for me..

I was standing by the sink tonight and thought to myself ‘God there’s always so many bloody dishes! Why is that!!?”

dishesThen I remembered the days of having a partner, and having a flatmate, and thought of course! One person cooks, the other washes up. It’s only every second night you have this darn mess to clean up.

That feeling returned – of sharing this time with someone special, having dinner cooked for me, or being able to relax afterwards, knowing that all would be cleaned up.

My heart went a little heavy. Just for an instant.

Having been quite keen to live by myself for a few years, when it came to buying my little flat last year, I was happy to buy a one bed place. Well, on my budget it was wise, actually the only option for a scaredy cat like me – a lower mortgage. Also so I’d not be tempted to fill a second room with a flatmate. (A man would of course be nice!) as I really really wanted to have my own space.

For the most part I’ve been happy. I’ve had so many visitors this year that I couldn’t possibly have had a roomie. But then again, the spare bedroom would have come in very handy actually for all the guests…

There’s a couple of issues with now owning a 1 BR in terms of meeting a man. Space in this tiny little place. But couples cope don’t they! My friends down the road have lived together in the same style 1 bed flat for almost nine years.

So I shouldn’t think it’s not impossible! (Or use living in a small flat as an excuse!)

I don’t know why I am writing a post about dishes tonight. And spare rooms, or lack of them. And complaining about a space premium in London.. I must be over tired, and going slightly mad after the crazy partying since mid November.

It’s a time, standing at the kitchen sink, to be truly grateful.

There’s been so many absolutely fabulous parties and nights out in London this winter. I’m grateful to have had non-stop invitations and have these beautiful people in my life to spend time with.

Get Taxi, Uber’s rival, has had £5 deals before Christmas to get me back from places like Balham or Wimbledon into central London (yes Camberwell counted as central). This is indeed a miracle for travelling by London taxi!

I’ve a toasty warm flat with a beautiful Christmas tree – here tis…

Christmas 2014

I’m a lucky lucky girl with so many friends who are also my neighbours to spend Christmas Day with this year. It really was special. And will forever be known to me as the 12* gays of Christmas. *12 is likely to be an under-estimation of Christmas 2014 at Andrew’s. And with strength in numbers, there was more PR of 40 gays 41 knights, and some excitement around a potential straight flatmate of one of the boys. (Potential date, not potentially straight. Yes, straight. We think)

12 gays of christmasI’m eagerly starting my new business venture. And have been overjoyed this year to find two lovely business mentors Sam and Judith…. the missing link when I last ran my own company three years ago.

In time for January, the website is almost up, and it is gonna be heaps of fun – involving networking, events, lots of coffees and wines, and importantly managing my own time!

Now doing the dishes doesn’t seem that bad after all.

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Gang-Bang or Bing-gay?

It’s December already? Surely not!

image

Don’t call me Shirley! That means 40 gays 41 knights has just turned 5 months old… What? Is that 5 months for me without a date?

No of course not *nervous laugh**… It’s WAY longer than that!

Don’t feel too sorry for me though. I’m not without offers.

I got all excited at a party the other night (an engagement celebration for two of my lovely gay friends). No, there weren’t any straight single guys there (don’t be silly). But there were straight couples and surely they have straight male buds. Got chatting to one half of the couple who assured me he could introduce me to not one, not two, but three of his friends who are single. Conversation went a bit like this. (Said in English but with Baltic/Slavic accent)

I’ve got some friends. I could bring them to a party that you will be at. They would be lining up. One here. One there. The other – over there.

And I could have my pick.

I asked him how was he so sure that they would all fancy me. (Apparently) Oh they definitely would.

Huh?

Right. Sounded a bit suss.

Did they want a girlfriend? Or are they just after sex?

No.

No, they don’t just want sex?

 

No. Just sex.

According to this young man that’s all guys want at the start, and if it leads to something then that’s just the way it goes. Thoughts of a Russian gang bang crept momentarily into my head. Eeeeckkk. Is this how my life was supposed to turn out? Me, the sweet square peg girl from country Victoria?

Whilst this is obviously a most appealing offer… That will be a No from me for that introduction. Even though I could have hiked the Dates tally up. And you’d have a straight date to read about… So sorry readers..

image

Mostly, it’s say Yes to new social opportunities.

Now, what am I doing tonight ?

Oh that’s right, going to Musical Bingo! With twelve of the gay boys…

And I bloody well can hardly wait!

 

 

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A happy and gay life is mine! Merry Thanksgiving!

Today I woke up a little less tired than usual, which was great, and thought Oh Blog, how I’ve ignored you! So determined to do something different today, I was grateful to have a free lunchtime to catch up with writing and with you all!

Being Australian (and technically British) I completely forgot it was American / Canadian thanksgiving, until I read some lovely Facebook posts.imageMy American workmate doesn’t really celebrate it over here, which is a shame as she is an amazing baker, so I can only imagine what her pumpkin pie must be like. Still, I am grateful for the days she brings some other creation in.

Not today.

I had thought in any case that today was a day to write about friends. Mainly what most of my posts are these days, (where ARE the dates?) but today the urge was to write about how truly grateful I am for my friends. And just to reiterate how wonderful they really are.

I’ve gotten over my turning of age crisis, and my Why is Everyone in a Couple but ME..blip. And looked back on the last couple of weeks and how my friends have really been there for me.

I threw a little birthday, housewarming, Christmasy shin ding at my flat. I say little as my flat size dictated the amount of people I could invite. With that always comes inevitable cancellations and then wishing I had invited certain people, having regrets about this, but then just remembering there will be other parties.

For some reason this party I felt a sense of calm before hand. Only raising the BP at one point when my dishwasher packed up. Where is that man when I need him? Well two phone calls and a knock on the neighbour’s door, and I had several opinions and offers of assistance.

I think the other part of the calm was because I had my amazing neighbour Lee help with all the catering. A retro style 70’s party, full of prawn cocktails, cheese and pineapple hedgehog, ritz and dips, devils on Horseback (prunes wrapped in bacon, if you please!) Not to mention a three or four layered Black Forest cake! My favourite from when I was at school in the 80’s even. I felt very spoilt.

My friend James looked after the music, ensuring we didn’t miss a disco beat. Friends turned up with all sorts of amazing gifts and importantly with their dancing shoes on. There were surprise guests late in the night, and a truly friendly atmosphere, with many new friends and connections formed.

To me this is what life is all about. Putting people together, and having a good old disco dance.

Of course there are many more things to life! But I guess on the weekend and since, when I have needed my friends they are there. Well, maybe not on Sunday for the party clean up.. Strangely they were nowhere to be found… 🙂

My favourite saying by William James still stands true – “Wherever you are it is your friends who make your world”

Gays, straights, girls, boys, and more gay boys. I am thankful, and am grateful that you all walked into my path, and I really couldn’t ask for a better life.

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Crazy (not) in Love. But OK!

I’ve been reading, hearing and chatting a lot about love lately.

Llove love love

I’ve been spending the first week of 41 trying to hone in on some thoughts I’ve been having and changing them for the better. I hope what I’ve learned I can somehow express over the next few posts, without sounding corny. Though I guess that’s part of a blog about finding love through friendships with the gay boys. Bound to not be your average bed time reading!

So, just the weekend before my birthday I had a bit of a melt-down, as only a girl in a gay gay world probably can. I don’t really know why it happened, perhaps just the not accepting of the new age, realising birthdays are really just not as fun the older we get, and wondering why the hell there are so many friends in couples now?! Looking at the love everyone else has and wonder how it has passed me by.

Why do all the gay guys want to spend time with me (I’m fighting them off) but I can’t seem to get anything right on the dating side of things? The straight dating that is.

This went on for a while, feeling sorry for myself, even cancelling a few social engagements with coupled up friends. Preferring the warmth of my duvet, and willing my birthday to just go away. Then feeling really bad about cancelling. And reminiscing about how at my 40th one year before I had sung to a ship of sailors “If I could turn back time”. OMG! How I wished right now I could stop time, turn it back, walk the plank backwards. Anything but be turning another year older!

DSC_3596I got myself quite worked up. And then I stopped and looked at what has happened to me in the past year, where I am now, and how I have SO much to be grateful for. AND I have the power to change things in my life moving forward.

I might not be able to magic dates from my gay friends out of thin air… but I can certainly change the way I think about love, and about dating. Perhaps my thinking has been all wrong?

I awoke to more than a hundred beautiful  birthday wishes from friends flung all over the world. And I knew I got the love. Then with just a few changes I’ve made this week I’m amazed at how much more I have achieved. Nope. No dates. Still on zero there!

It’s quite simply in addition to just having the usual fun filled nights out with (several and varied) gay friends, I’ve been really feeling their love and giving it back, rather than pushing it away, as I think I have before.

It’s only Week 1 into my new mind fitness regime… but some fun and really beautiful stuff is emerging which I can’t wait to share. It’s not without it’s wobbles. But hey, what’s a blog without a breakdown? Every now and then 🙂

Have you ever felt err, wobbly?

 

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