Many a gay makes a knight

I know I bang on a lot about Gratitude. But I’ve been practising it a lot lately and have so much to be thankful for as 2015 has got off to a roaring start!

Um. No, I didn’t get a new years’ snog. I used to base my success on a good year ahead if this didn’t happen! What was I thinking??

Not very likely this year dear readers, given the New Years’ Eve party I attended was the most glam of the year, hosted by the most fabulous gay friends in their Frenchy chic apartment near Oxford Street. Avec roof terrace, fireworks, a casino table Monte Carlo style, magnums of champers, and I had not one but two handsome dates D&C.

Monte CarloWho are dating each other.

But what a happy new year it was! With friends, surrounded by good looking sorts, dancing, chatting (a lot, me). Making new friends, old friends, five more new (gay) Facebook friends….

Now it’s back to serious January mode. I’m trying hard not to party, to avoid making my cold worse, to kickstart my new business venture. Then… I get suckered back in to it. With no discouragement from my friends.

No dates have materialised in the 12 days of January, but seems there’s been more than 12 gays of Christmas around at my flat this weekend. Just when I get sad not having “someone special”. Well, I guess I learned that special comes in different forms. 

Like my darling neighbour RS up the road cooking me a restaurant quality meal on Friday night, cracking open the chilled bubbly on cue. Well, we needed to celebrate my first business deal, and the King going out of power in Sri Lanka.

The multi-talented Lee who just keeps on giving! He’s helping create ALL my admin processes for my new business. Voluntarily. He actually finds it fun! What What! I don’t know, but I’m grateful!

Then there was the articulate Professor M who came over for our long awaited #1to1 – giving me loads of helpful advice and his insight into writing, even chick lit! True story.

And just when I thought I was going to have to pull up the floorboards near my entrance as they wouldn’t stop squeaking, and were bouncing all over the place, handy Andy came to the DIY rescue affixing some pennies under the skirting boards. Now they’re squeak-less!

Most girls love the idea of having a gay best friend. I’m lucky. I have 40* (numbers can be inaccurate at times*) And look how talented they all are!

How can my knights get any better?

Lots of girls have a partner to cuddle at the end of the day. I don’t have this. But who has a  man who can (in one weekend) cook salmon to perfection, drip feed you champagne, sort out your new business’ administration processes from wo to go, teach you the ins and outs of novel writing, AND fix your gamy expanded floorboards?


As one girlfriend said when I recounted the weekend and all the wonderful selfless acts of gay boys’ help I received. “Oh that’s MUCH better. With a boyfriend they just sit there and do nothing!!”

They are one in a million my boys! They are my knights!

I know I’ve got to get back to the dating thing. I know. I KNOW! 

I have really lost it, haven’t I?

Not only lost the plot of the Blog, but is this a Blog that’s actually lost the plot?? 

Well, whilst you scurry for answers as to why my life is like this. How can I not get a date? Especially in that gorgeous gold dress! Given to me by my fabulous friend Joan! Joe. Joan. It’s all the same thing right?

And how has it come to this. That I am vaguely considering online dating again…? Shouldn’t I seriously be considering it!?

Amidst all this, I’m grateful. Oops! Said it again..!! I know that everything happens as it’s meant to. And right now through my days and nights, my gays and knights, I know I got the love I need to see me through.

And I think they’re happy too. They’ve got scones.

Gays  and scones


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Dishes for me.. Save all the dishes for me..

I was standing by the sink tonight and thought to myself ‘God there’s always so many bloody dishes! Why is that!!?”

dishesThen I remembered the days of having a partner, and having a flatmate, and thought of course! One person cooks, the other washes up. It’s only every second night you have this darn mess to clean up.

That feeling returned – of sharing this time with someone special, having dinner cooked for me, or being able to relax afterwards, knowing that all would be cleaned up.

My heart went a little heavy. Just for an instant.

Having been quite keen to live by myself for a few years, when it came to buying my little flat last year, I was happy to buy a one bed place. Well, on my budget it was wise, actually the only option for a scaredy cat like me – a lower mortgage. Also so I’d not be tempted to fill a second room with a flatmate. (A man would of course be nice!) as I really really wanted to have my own space.

For the most part I’ve been happy. I’ve had so many visitors this year that I couldn’t possibly have had a roomie. But then again, the spare bedroom would have come in very handy actually for all the guests…

There’s a couple of issues with now owning a 1 BR in terms of meeting a man. Space in this tiny little place. But couples cope don’t they! My friends down the road have lived together in the same style 1 bed flat for almost nine years.

So I shouldn’t think it’s not impossible! (Or use living in a small flat as an excuse!)

I don’t know why I am writing a post about dishes tonight. And spare rooms, or lack of them. And complaining about a space premium in London.. I must be over tired, and going slightly mad after the crazy partying since mid November.

It’s a time, standing at the kitchen sink, to be truly grateful.

There’s been so many absolutely fabulous parties and nights out in London this winter. I’m grateful to have had non-stop invitations and have these beautiful people in my life to spend time with.

Get Taxi, Uber’s rival, has had £5 deals before Christmas to get me back from places like Balham or Wimbledon into central London (yes Camberwell counted as central). This is indeed a miracle for travelling by London taxi!

I’ve a toasty warm flat with a beautiful Christmas tree – here tis…

Christmas 2014

I’m a lucky lucky girl with so many friends who are also my neighbours to spend Christmas Day with this year. It really was special. And will forever be known to me as the 12* gays of Christmas. *12 is likely to be an under-estimation of Christmas 2014 at Andrew’s. And with strength in numbers, there was more PR of 40 gays 41 knights, and some excitement around a potential straight flatmate of one of the boys. (Potential date, not potentially straight. Yes, straight. We think)

12 gays of christmasI’m eagerly starting my new business venture. And have been overjoyed this year to find two lovely business mentors Sam and Judith…. the missing link when I last ran my own company three years ago.

In time for January, the website is almost up, and it is gonna be heaps of fun – involving networking, events, lots of coffees and wines, and importantly managing my own time!

Now doing the dishes doesn’t seem that bad after all.

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No ordinary December

Time sure flies when you’re having fun.

Also when you’re resigning from work, partying some more, having yet another leaving doo, and going through the motion that is Christmas time in London. Oh and especially including hanging out with different gangs of happy and gay boys.

Many different gangs of gays!

It’s been a crazy month December. So much achieved but so much still ahead. I guess this is life! Are we ever on top of our party schedule? Let alone our life goals?

Christmas tree dressAmid resigning and finally finishing up at my day job a week ago, there’s been one party after the other. For some of the boys, their party is their one big party for several months. For me, having different groups of gay boys as my friends, parties have become like a weekend job. A job I don’t mind at all!

Starting with my very own birthday/belated housewarming at my own little flat, where the chance of seeing a straight guy was as high as Bob Geldof giving up on releasing Band Aid remixes. I’m overjoyed to have kicked off the Christmas party season, spreading the Christmas cheer (and splashing my white walls accidentally with remnants of the cosmopolitan fountain..) But hey, what’s the point of buying a flat if you can’t throw a party?!

Cosmo fountainThen it was the engagement party of two lovely gay friends – a joy to celebrate with them, in their west London divine apartment, and even meet some new (gay) friends living in my neighbourhood. Everybody needs good neighbours!

The following weekend there was the Travesty party. What is this you ask? Think big hair, 80’s fashion, and screening of a movie starring this group of (predominantly) gay mates – celebrating their birthdays and general fabulousness.

Travesty These guys are in North London. Yeeek!! So we made our annual trip to their hood, crossed the river and all. Luckily for us Uber Cabs have sprung into circulation in the past 12 months, making our journey easy, cheap and enjoyable. No joke, the cab driver offered my friend Ben and I chocolates and even did a magic trick with a card! Whilst stopped at traffic lights of course (they’re uber safe cabs)Selfie stick Christmas

Somewhere in here I got through three very large boozy work Christmas parties, and my work leaving doo.. Which saw workmates dragged along to gay bars late into the eve…  then, suddenly it was mid December – and the Christmas soiree hosted by my darling neighbourly friends David and Carlo. Just when you think all your own gay friends are fabulous, you meet so many more lovely friends of friend’s partner. And voila! Yet another ten new gay names added to my FB friends list!

Does anyone out there find it this easy with straight guys?

If you’ve been reading for a while, you might know it’s been quite a date-less six months, in the true sense of the word ‘date’. But that’s definitely not to say I’ve been lying at home crying tears on my pillow. Oh no.. I have options for company any night of the week. And time has wizzed by. I am a truly lucky lucky lucky girl, for more reasons than one.

Life in December has been hectic, crazy, uncertain. And totally gay.

But as Kylie sang ‘If I had to do it all again, I wouldn’t change a single thing”

Ooops, is that the time? I gotta get ready.

Another party…..!

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Crazy (not) in Love. But OK!

I’ve been reading, hearing and chatting a lot about love lately.

Llove love love

I’ve been spending the first week of 41 trying to hone in on some thoughts I’ve been having and changing them for the better. I hope what I’ve learned I can somehow express over the next few posts, without sounding corny. Though I guess that’s part of a blog about finding love through friendships with the gay boys. Bound to not be your average bed time reading!

So, just the weekend before my birthday I had a bit of a melt-down, as only a girl in a gay gay world probably can. I don’t really know why it happened, perhaps just the not accepting of the new age, realising birthdays are really just not as fun the older we get, and wondering why the hell there are so many friends in couples now?! Looking at the love everyone else has and wonder how it has passed me by.

Why do all the gay guys want to spend time with me (I’m fighting them off) but I can’t seem to get anything right on the dating side of things? The straight dating that is.

This went on for a while, feeling sorry for myself, even cancelling a few social engagements with coupled up friends. Preferring the warmth of my duvet, and willing my birthday to just go away. Then feeling really bad about cancelling. And reminiscing about how at my 40th one year before I had sung to a ship of sailors “If I could turn back time”. OMG! How I wished right now I could stop time, turn it back, walk the plank backwards. Anything but be turning another year older!

DSC_3596I got myself quite worked up. And then I stopped and looked at what has happened to me in the past year, where I am now, and how I have SO much to be grateful for. AND I have the power to change things in my life moving forward.

I might not be able to magic dates from my gay friends out of thin air… but I can certainly change the way I think about love, and about dating. Perhaps my thinking has been all wrong?

I awoke to more than a hundred beautiful  birthday wishes from friends flung all over the world. And I knew I got the love. Then with just a few changes I’ve made this week I’m amazed at how much more I have achieved. Nope. No dates. Still on zero there!

It’s quite simply in addition to just having the usual fun filled nights out with (several and varied) gay friends, I’ve been really feeling their love and giving it back, rather than pushing it away, as I think I have before.

It’s only Week 1 into my new mind fitness regime… but some fun and really beautiful stuff is emerging which I can’t wait to share. It’s not without it’s wobbles. But hey, what’s a blog without a breakdown? Every now and then 🙂

Have you ever felt err, wobbly?


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Last days of 40 (not disco)

Can’t remember if I told you, I decided to continue my Sober October into November? I realised abstaining for 40 days would take me up to my birthday. As well as having a nice ring to it, 40 days 41 nights… it’s also pertinent on the day/night I go from being forty to forty-one.

Chards Party

Maybe I am going a little over the top, and reading waaaay too muuch into the significance of this. But I like to think there’s something significant about not drinking the last 40 days of being forty.

It’s taken a lot of willpower. I never thought I could go 40 days without drinking. Booze I mean. I’m not into fasting. In fact I’m happy to have got right into drinking water, and lots of it.

It’s been a challenge but has really helped clarify that anything is possible when I put my mind to it.

So though this weekend I got a bit disheartened that I don’t have someone special in my life. And ok, quite disappointed that my 40+ gay friends have not yet come up with one date… What I have learned is that love comes in so many different forms, and I can rely on myself to make the decisions that are right for me, and stick to them.

Accept responsibility

I will be the best I can be, and take note of what’s put in my path, to help guide these decisions. Not force anything, but be grateful for what is what.

And I’ll continue writing, cos that’s what feels right, right now. And has been one of the best things I started in my 40’s.

I’ll enjoy a champagne tomorrow, or sometime this week. And hit the disco again soon enough. My shoes are sparkly clean and ready to go!

Goodbye 40, you’ve been great.

Cheers to 41!


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