About Chardonnay Bell

Chardonnay Bell is a bubbly young 40 y.o. who loves her extensive set of gay friends, and is often last to leave the party. She leads a balanced life, loves her newly renovated little London flat, and enjoys anything good for the soul. She may be addicted to taking selfies.

It’s all about the online presence…

Already the third week into January and the most I’ve accomplished with my blog writing is one post, oh plus this one. Really I should be using my new found I.T. skills as I underwent some intensive website training last week.

The training wasn’t for this l’il ol’ 40 gays 41 knights blog site, but my new business professional site that I had designed. That’s a website I had designed by someone else. Not that I designed.

I was lucky, just after New Years I finally had the content written, so called upon the lovely Jason Kruger to wip something up for me. So I could at least look good. Look professional. Like I mean it!

Having a website for your business is just the thing now, it’s impossible really without. But when it comes to do it, though you know what you need to say, and have thought about it no end, in the end… well, it’s such a rush! But you need to get something up – the words saying just the right thing, the pics looking inviting and accurate, and everything else looking, well, swish.

And you start thinking of adding the most stupid things, and have mental blocks when you are trying to sell yourself and what you can offer.

Kind of like online dating sites, being a one woman business!

The “Home” page – introducing yourself and how many years you’ve been in the business. Or in the case of your online dating profile, how many years’ old you are, how many years’ single, where your home is. And a call to action – Get in touch, now!

An “About Me” – My life history in professional terms. It’s a colourful CV mine. Hopefully one wouldn’t go to town on a dating site for stalkers sure do stalk these necks of the woods. A simple ‘likes long walks in the countryside, dancing (classes or clubs), yoga and learning Spanish” and Arriba! That’s me!

The “How can I help you?” section, or in the case of online dating biographies – How fab am I? Why should you pick me?

“Services” – a drop down box or one that expands to the many facets of your offerings. Ultra important on a business website but perhaps we’ll skip online services button when dating, unless we are on www.sugardaddy.com

Professional Me

Then you gotta upload your best photos, which might mean getting your hair done, nice dress on, rather than that selfie with a London bus in the background. Ok that’s possibly cute and appropriate for a dating site these days. Is it?

I don’t think selfies were invented when I was last on mysinglefriend.com but I do remember one guy just before our first date emailing me that he couldn’t stop looking at my photos. Mmm, that wasn’t awkward when we met.


“Contact Me… ” Well, in business – I’ll take all the calls I can get. And will answer every one! Online dating-wise.. perhaps this time I’ll give every poke or tweet or nudge a go this time. There’s no road map to love, and no map at least on my new site as to where I am based, being a remote office worker. Phew.

I’m not sure I’ve accurately portrayed online dating profiles as it’s been a couple of years now. A decent while since the Spanish guy I met online told me Date 3 he was ‘separated’. Then I found out a couple of dates later that he still lived with his wife.

Everyone tells you ‘At least if you meet online you know that they want to meet someone’… Well. Yes and no. Mas o menas…

But hey… Live, Life and Love! It’s about risk taking. No-one ever met the love of their life sitting at home in front of their computer. Oh hang on, yes they do frequently these days!


I know several girlfriends who had just about given up on love, gave online dating ‘one last go’ and now are married to the loves of their lives. True stories!

If anyone has any online dating success stories to share, I’d love to hear them! 

What do you think, is it time, (of course in conjunction with the faith I have in my 40 gays…) that I get back on the horse, to find my knight?

Or just go fishing?



Share me!Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailby feather

Many a gay makes a knight

I know I bang on a lot about Gratitude. But I’ve been practising it a lot lately and have so much to be thankful for as 2015 has got off to a roaring start!

Um. No, I didn’t get a new years’ snog. I used to base my success on a good year ahead if this didn’t happen! What was I thinking??

Not very likely this year dear readers, given the New Years’ Eve party I attended was the most glam of the year, hosted by the most fabulous gay friends in their Frenchy chic apartment near Oxford Street. Avec roof terrace, fireworks, a casino table Monte Carlo style, magnums of champers, and I had not one but two handsome dates D&C.

Monte CarloWho are dating each other.

But what a happy new year it was! With friends, surrounded by good looking sorts, dancing, chatting (a lot, me). Making new friends, old friends, five more new (gay) Facebook friends….

Now it’s back to serious January mode. I’m trying hard not to party, to avoid making my cold worse, to kickstart my new business venture. Then… I get suckered back in to it. With no discouragement from my friends.

No dates have materialised in the 12 days of January, but seems there’s been more than 12 gays of Christmas around at my flat this weekend. Just when I get sad not having “someone special”. Well, I guess I learned that special comes in different forms. 

Like my darling neighbour RS up the road cooking me a restaurant quality meal on Friday night, cracking open the chilled bubbly on cue. Well, we needed to celebrate my first business deal, and the King going out of power in Sri Lanka.

The multi-talented Lee who just keeps on giving! He’s helping create ALL my admin processes for my new business. Voluntarily. He actually finds it fun! What What! I don’t know, but I’m grateful!

Then there was the articulate Professor M who came over for our long awaited #1to1 – giving me loads of helpful advice and his insight into writing, even chick lit! True story.

And just when I thought I was going to have to pull up the floorboards near my entrance as they wouldn’t stop squeaking, and were bouncing all over the place, handy Andy came to the DIY rescue affixing some pennies under the skirting boards. Now they’re squeak-less!

Most girls love the idea of having a gay best friend. I’m lucky. I have 40* (numbers can be inaccurate at times*) And look how talented they all are!

How can my knights get any better?

Lots of girls have a partner to cuddle at the end of the day. I don’t have this. But who has a  man who can (in one weekend) cook salmon to perfection, drip feed you champagne, sort out your new business’ administration processes from wo to go, teach you the ins and outs of novel writing, AND fix your gamy expanded floorboards?


As one girlfriend said when I recounted the weekend and all the wonderful selfless acts of gay boys’ help I received. “Oh that’s MUCH better. With a boyfriend they just sit there and do nothing!!”

They are one in a million my boys! They are my knights!

I know I’ve got to get back to the dating thing. I know. I KNOW! 

I have really lost it, haven’t I?

Not only lost the plot of the Blog, but is this a Blog that’s actually lost the plot?? 

Well, whilst you scurry for answers as to why my life is like this. How can I not get a date? Especially in that gorgeous gold dress! Given to me by my fabulous friend Joan! Joe. Joan. It’s all the same thing right?

And how has it come to this. That I am vaguely considering online dating again…? Shouldn’t I seriously be considering it!?

Amidst all this, I’m grateful. Oops! Said it again..!! I know that everything happens as it’s meant to. And right now through my days and nights, my gays and knights, I know I got the love I need to see me through.

And I think they’re happy too. They’ve got scones.

Gays  and scones


Share me!Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailby feather

Dishes for me.. Save all the dishes for me..

I was standing by the sink tonight and thought to myself ‘God there’s always so many bloody dishes! Why is that!!?”

dishesThen I remembered the days of having a partner, and having a flatmate, and thought of course! One person cooks, the other washes up. It’s only every second night you have this darn mess to clean up.

That feeling returned – of sharing this time with someone special, having dinner cooked for me, or being able to relax afterwards, knowing that all would be cleaned up.

My heart went a little heavy. Just for an instant.

Having been quite keen to live by myself for a few years, when it came to buying my little flat last year, I was happy to buy a one bed place. Well, on my budget it was wise, actually the only option for a scaredy cat like me – a lower mortgage. Also so I’d not be tempted to fill a second room with a flatmate. (A man would of course be nice!) as I really really wanted to have my own space.

For the most part I’ve been happy. I’ve had so many visitors this year that I couldn’t possibly have had a roomie. But then again, the spare bedroom would have come in very handy actually for all the guests…

There’s a couple of issues with now owning a 1 BR in terms of meeting a man. Space in this tiny little place. But couples cope don’t they! My friends down the road have lived together in the same style 1 bed flat for almost nine years.

So I shouldn’t think it’s not impossible! (Or use living in a small flat as an excuse!)

I don’t know why I am writing a post about dishes tonight. And spare rooms, or lack of them. And complaining about a space premium in London.. I must be over tired, and going slightly mad after the crazy partying since mid November.

It’s a time, standing at the kitchen sink, to be truly grateful.

There’s been so many absolutely fabulous parties and nights out in London this winter. I’m grateful to have had non-stop invitations and have these beautiful people in my life to spend time with.

Get Taxi, Uber’s rival, has had £5 deals before Christmas to get me back from places like Balham or Wimbledon into central London (yes Camberwell counted as central). This is indeed a miracle for travelling by London taxi!

I’ve a toasty warm flat with a beautiful Christmas tree – here tis…

Christmas 2014

I’m a lucky lucky girl with so many friends who are also my neighbours to spend Christmas Day with this year. It really was special. And will forever be known to me as the 12* gays of Christmas. *12 is likely to be an under-estimation of Christmas 2014 at Andrew’s. And with strength in numbers, there was more PR of 40 gays 41 knights, and some excitement around a potential straight flatmate of one of the boys. (Potential date, not potentially straight. Yes, straight. We think)

12 gays of christmasI’m eagerly starting my new business venture. And have been overjoyed this year to find two lovely business mentors Sam and Judith…. the missing link when I last ran my own company three years ago.

In time for January, the website is almost up, and it is gonna be heaps of fun – involving networking, events, lots of coffees and wines, and importantly managing my own time!

Now doing the dishes doesn’t seem that bad after all.

Share me!Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailby feather

No ordinary December

Time sure flies when you’re having fun.

Also when you’re resigning from work, partying some more, having yet another leaving doo, and going through the motion that is Christmas time in London. Oh and especially including hanging out with different gangs of happy and gay boys.

Many different gangs of gays!

It’s been a crazy month December. So much achieved but so much still ahead. I guess this is life! Are we ever on top of our party schedule? Let alone our life goals?

Christmas tree dressAmid resigning and finally finishing up at my day job a week ago, there’s been one party after the other. For some of the boys, their party is their one big party for several months. For me, having different groups of gay boys as my friends, parties have become like a weekend job. A job I don’t mind at all!

Starting with my very own birthday/belated housewarming at my own little flat, where the chance of seeing a straight guy was as high as Bob Geldof giving up on releasing Band Aid remixes. I’m overjoyed to have kicked off the Christmas party season, spreading the Christmas cheer (and splashing my white walls accidentally with remnants of the cosmopolitan fountain..) But hey, what’s the point of buying a flat if you can’t throw a party?!

Cosmo fountainThen it was the engagement party of two lovely gay friends – a joy to celebrate with them, in their west London divine apartment, and even meet some new (gay) friends living in my neighbourhood. Everybody needs good neighbours!

The following weekend there was the Travesty party. What is this you ask? Think big hair, 80’s fashion, and screening of a movie starring this group of (predominantly) gay mates – celebrating their birthdays and general fabulousness.

Travesty These guys are in North London. Yeeek!! So we made our annual trip to their hood, crossed the river and all. Luckily for us Uber Cabs have sprung into circulation in the past 12 months, making our journey easy, cheap and enjoyable. No joke, the cab driver offered my friend Ben and I chocolates and even did a magic trick with a card! Whilst stopped at traffic lights of course (they’re uber safe cabs)Selfie stick Christmas

Somewhere in here I got through three very large boozy work Christmas parties, and my work leaving doo.. Which saw workmates dragged along to gay bars late into the eve…  then, suddenly it was mid December – and the Christmas soiree hosted by my darling neighbourly friends David and Carlo. Just when you think all your own gay friends are fabulous, you meet so many more lovely friends of friend’s partner. And voila! Yet another ten new gay names added to my FB friends list!

Does anyone out there find it this easy with straight guys?

If you’ve been reading for a while, you might know it’s been quite a date-less six months, in the true sense of the word ‘date’. But that’s definitely not to say I’ve been lying at home crying tears on my pillow. Oh no.. I have options for company any night of the week. And time has wizzed by. I am a truly lucky lucky lucky girl, for more reasons than one.

Life in December has been hectic, crazy, uncertain. And totally gay.

But as Kylie sang ‘If I had to do it all again, I wouldn’t change a single thing”

Ooops, is that the time? I gotta get ready.

Another party…..!

Share me!Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailby feather

Gang-Bang or Bing-gay?

It’s December already? Surely not!


Don’t call me Shirley! That means 40 gays 41 knights has just turned 5 months old… What? Is that 5 months for me without a date?

No of course not *nervous laugh**… It’s WAY longer than that!

Don’t feel too sorry for me though. I’m not without offers.

I got all excited at a party the other night (an engagement celebration for two of my lovely gay friends). No, there weren’t any straight single guys there (don’t be silly). But there were straight couples and surely they have straight male buds. Got chatting to one half of the couple who assured me he could introduce me to not one, not two, but three of his friends who are single. Conversation went a bit like this. (Said in English but with Baltic/Slavic accent)

I’ve got some friends. I could bring them to a party that you will be at. They would be lining up. One here. One there. The other – over there.

And I could have my pick.

I asked him how was he so sure that they would all fancy me. (Apparently) Oh they definitely would.


Right. Sounded a bit suss.

Did they want a girlfriend? Or are they just after sex?


No, they don’t just want sex?


No. Just sex.

According to this young man that’s all guys want at the start, and if it leads to something then that’s just the way it goes. Thoughts of a Russian gang bang crept momentarily into my head. Eeeeckkk. Is this how my life was supposed to turn out? Me, the sweet square peg girl from country Victoria?

Whilst this is obviously a most appealing offer… That will be a No from me for that introduction. Even though I could have hiked the Dates tally up. And you’d have a straight date to read about… So sorry readers..


Mostly, it’s say Yes to new social opportunities.

Now, what am I doing tonight ?

Oh that’s right, going to Musical Bingo! With twelve of the gay boys…

And I bloody well can hardly wait!



Share me!Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinterestmailby feather